Soul disconnection often shows up as value conflict. When you’re out of alignment with your core values — say, chasing success in a way that violates your integrity or peace — you’ll feel it as anxiety, depression, burnout, or dissatisfaction. This is often a soul-level protest. The body and mind know when we’re betraying ourselves. Values are a compass for soul alignment. Think of values as the GPS and the soul as the destination. When your life, work, and relationships reflect your values, you move closer to your most aligned, fulfilled state — what many spiritual traditions call dharma or right path.

It’s very interesting what people value. I know someone who doesn’t order out much to save money- but they will regularly fly business class, and pay full price. You are naturally drawn to things that align up with your values.

There are levels and percentages to the strength of values, and it can surprise you what you learn about yourself and what lives in your deep. So what would you like to value more and therefore be fully committed to and inspired by, especially on an unconscious level where 90% of your mental power lies?

Is it wealth? When You are unconsciously aligned with wealth, you will naturally find yourself sending more emails maybe, exploring a different market, or networking with more confidence joy, or effortlessly and confidently asking for the sale.

If want to value peace more, let’s say to combat your anxiety, you may find yourself thinking different thoughts next time someone says something that would usually stress or hurt you, or that you’re feeling more centered and picking less arguments with your spouse or sister… You may even finally recognize what those triggers are that cause you to drink, drug, or feel that you need to cope.

If you were to unconsciously value joy more you may find yourself staying off Instagram and picking up a book instead, or having a difficult conversation with that friend or employee who you think is a buzzkill. If you unconsciously valued health or fitness more, you may naturally feel like eating healthier things and are put off by alcohol, or you allow yourself to actually enjoy the gym and the way it makes you feel.

If you valued performance, growth, or career more, you could find yourself sleeping earlier, getting off Netflix, and waking up better & fresher to dominate & meditate. Values run deep. Just like your own unconscious mind, whether you have realized that yet or not.

Want to take a closer look at what’s swimming (or sinking) inside you, so that you can always feel and function at your absolute best? Values work forms an integral part of the unique methodology I employ in my 1 on 1 work with clients. Because sometimes, it isn’t just what you are doing or not doing that is holding you back from the results you seek. Often, it’s what’s cooking underneath. Correct alignment between the conscious and unconscious fosters a state of flow, where actions become effortless, innate genius surfaces, and cognitive function is at its peak.

5. Being Your Best You

When you are committed to being the best version of yourself and with all that you do, you will find far more satisfaction in all processes, as well as with the final result. This focus on personal growth (because growth is unavoidable, really. Everything in nature grows and evolves, or it becomes obsolete and dies. All the seasons attest to that) will ensure that you are capable of going the distance to reach your goals, and that you enjoy the process. Little can give you such deep pleasure and satisfaction as being connected to who you really are, and all that you can be. It’s a little like going to the gym. Which do you enjoy more, and what gets you the best results? Showing up and half-assing each rep or set? Or sweating it out properly, and leaving knowing that you gave your best?

It’s not just about how well you do the job or how much money you make- but how much satisfaction you derive from it. What good is all the food in the world, if it’s not tasty? Or if you’re not truly hungry? Because sometimes we think were hungry, when we’re actually thirsty. And sometimes, you eat not because you’re hungry, but because you are using food to cope, distract, or because you’re seeking the wrong pleasure in the wrong place. (Check out my webinar on Coping & Addiction for a more in depth look at that specific point.) Making money and work-ohlicism can be the same. Sometimes people use numbers at the finish line as a temporary high or self esteem boost. These highs aren’t the ones that last. Because unless you have taken a very good look at yourself via thorough personal development work, you may not even completely really know yourself, or why you do, or don’t do certain things. Because how can you truly know yourself (and I mean deeply) without truly knowing how all your mental and sensory faculties work?

Satisfaction can come from many things, and not reaching your final destination (because why else would we fly business class?) And in my humble (and correct) opinion, some of the sweetest satisfaction you will ever get is by being the best version of yourself. Being the best version of yourself comes with being really satisfied with yourself, which is as much about the journey as it is the destination. Kind of like sex (or so I hear). This satisfaction comes from within, and the journey of personal growth along the way is part of it.

It isn’t just skills that define a high performer, its range and capacity. Ultimately- like with many things in life- being simultaneously healthy, happy and high performing comes down to who you are at your core. Even when no one is looking. It’s who you are being, not just what you are doing. Beingis at the intersection between doing and feeling.

Different parts of your job (or life) will require different qualities from you in order for you, or ‘personal skills’ -as opposed to the professional ones you should already have nailed down to be doing whatever it is that you are doing to a good degree. Excelling and high-performing with happiness and ease (in business or in any area) is kind of like cooking or following any recipe. If you have good ingredients (qualities, traits and states) and follow the recipe (the know-how of your job or role and how to complete the task at hand) you will likely be satisfied (or impressed!) with the end result, and so would your dinner guests. (Barring a kitchen fire, that is). And sometimes, if we think we don’t know how to cook, its because we are missing a key ingredient- like self belief, self love, self awareness, self trust, or faith. It’s not really your cooking skills. Be mindful of that.

And know that every single characteristic in life you need to get where you want to go can be identified, unlocked, and amplified far more easily and effortlessly than you may think, as long as you are working with the right person. The qualities, sates and traits (which are actually virtues of the Soul) required to thrive in business (and in life) are:

· Self-awareness – The foundation of growth; If you want to improve at something, you need to know what your weak points are. You can’t improve what you don’t notice. (Like being ok with and understanding triggers- see my blog post on that). Plus, if you want to take the right exit on the highway you need to know where you are.

· Confidence – Fuels action and grants satisfaction. Believe you can, and you will.

· Determination – Keeps you going when motivation is missing, so every day is great.

· Resilience – Bounce back better, not just faster. With the valuable wisdom & experience gained.

· Insight – Learn from within; your unconscious holds gold.

· Willpower – Crucial for staying aligned with your goals, even when it doesn’t feel easy.

· Discipline – Turns inspiration into long-term results, helping you to make the most out of each day.

· Calm (under pressure) & the absence of stress – Keeps your decisions sharp when it matters most, enabling you to have a birds eye view of any situation. Remember, stress is perceived, not real. Explore where it really comes from. Most stress comes from fear of loss or death, with no grounds in logic or the actual present.

· Energy, Energy Management & Vitality- Your battery has to be fully charged. See point #1. Energy management is not just time management — it’s vitality and boundaries, protect yourself you path, and what you value. Also, heavy emotions and thoughts can drain energy, so be aware and have that locked down.

· Foresight – Anticipate challenges and position yourself ahead.

· Joy – The fuel of sustainability; success should feel good.Plus feel good chemicals literally nourish your cells on a cellular level, while cortisol eats away at it. (You can actually see healthy cells moving away from cortisol on a petri dish)

· Ambition – Drives expansion and evolution — personally and professionally.

· Clarity – Cuts through overwhelm and guides action.

· Emotional intelligence – Enabling you to properly care for and get the most from everyone around you. Like with many things, starts first with self awareness. Lead with power and grace.

· Empathy – Connect deeper, lead stronger. Forge better relationships.

· Self-belief – Non-negotiable. Your results will never outgrow your self-image.

· Self-love – Because enjoying the journey is the whole point.

· Charisma – To make it fun for you, first, and everyone around you. Remember, one of the greatest joys is being who you really are. And, if you’re into that sort of thing like- influence with authenticity and magnetism.

· Vision – Know where you’re going so you don’t get lost in the noise.

· Mental agility – Adapt, pivot, solve — fast.

· Emotional control – Master your state, master your outcomes. Calm is a superpower. Learn to Respond, not react. Stay in your power. Plus, keeps the blood pressure low!

· Intuition – The original GPS system. Highly, higly accurate when finely tuned. More on that in my blog.

· Alignment: Operate from your values. Align with your soul. This is the root of ease and sustainability.

· Authenticity / Self-expression – You’re most powerful- and the happiest-when you’re most you. (As long as you are in a good place mentally, that is).

And, especially if your high-performing role extends to being a partner, parent, or healer/holistic therapist/coach working in an intimate and people-centric service based role like myself:

· Unconditional love- so can guide & give the person in front of you your absolute best, without any of your personal ‘stuff’ getting in the way.

While you may possess all of the qualities, to be a true high performer functioning at your peak while also deriving deep satisfaction and fulfilment from your endeavors (because again, that is the point) you want to be at the higher end of the spectrum for all aforementioned characteristics. For example, lets say you were to rate you confidence at a 7/10. While 7 is seemingly on the high side.. its not a 10/10, is it?. (I mean what did you go to Yale for if you can’t speak to a girl at a bar, or if you have to Chat GPT your DM banter?) A 7/10 VS. 10/10 is the difference between an A+, or a C-. Would you be happy with a C- in life? Or in business? You may be. But imagine- how much happier would you be, and how much better would you feel, and how much greater would you build, if you were at an A+? And with little extra effort? How incredible would life be if you were 100% on point, all of the time?

I know many people who think they are at an 8 with a specific (or several) qualities in their life. Let’s look at Self Awareness, or Joy, for example. In some cases, you may think you are at an 8/10 with joy, or even a 10! But, after doing some personal development work where your coach/therapist points out your blind spots and how you haven’t been applying the theory that you learned, (to use the gym metaphor again- “You are not actually getting 120 g of protein in then, now are you?!’) and then helps you to make the shifts or unclogs your system so you experience more elevated joy, is when you actually are at and experience a 10. That is when you realize that you were actually at a 5 before, and that difference is what was holding you back from where you wanted to be. I know many people like this. This even happened to me! It can be quite a blessings as well, because it means that as good as things may be- they can get even better! Be humble, and stay open to growth.

And coming full circle on some of the points I made in the intro, having qualities, virtues traits and states to a high degree ensures that all your thoughts, therefore all your decisions, feelings actions and therefore results, will be at a high and satisfying level. In my 1 on 1 work with clients I help to identify, unlock and amplify the most relevant traits to their absolutely highest degrees, and in the most easeful and effortless of ways.

Ultimately this is being the best version of yourself. Or, as Abraham Maslow puts it, ’Self Actualized’. And when we are self actualized and being the best version of ourselves, is when we can consistently access peak states of flow producing our highest level of work, even sometimes effortlessly bypassing what we thought were the limits of our abilities.

And let me tell you, as someone who has been around the block a few times, thrown herself a few rodeos and colored outside the lines in life, no drink, no drug, person, bank account, and no or external ‘experience’ holds a candle to what genuine, authentic connection to a healthy, happy, balanced, aligned and developed Self or Soul (because they overlap) feels like. Much like self actualization.

Nothing can replicate the immense peace, joy or bliss that already exists within you, even if you haven’t unlocked or found it- yet.

If you would like to unlock your highest levels of happiness, health, and high performance, book a breakthrough call to talk about what your bespoke training, healing and coaching program would look like.